reflection..

It has been so long since i last stepped into S'pore Conference Hall. This time, it is to witness the current Chong Boon band earning their silver medal for SYF after so long. i'm really proud of them as they've shown the capability of adapting and putting in hard work though the new conductor, mr chiang has juz took over for less than 2 yrs. Thank u, mr chiang, for helping the band to get back on their feet and earn back the honor we used to have.

Mr Darence Leng, our dearest conductor were there as well, bring one of his many bands, Bartley Secondary band. All of us, not only the current band members but also the alumni were very sad that he has to leave Chong Boon due to a mistake in letting 1 alumni to play in the SYF 2007. What's really horrible is dat the then assistant conductor was suspected in reporting this to the SYF committee after some self-investigation. We juz can't accept that hw one can turn and bite the hand that feed him? It was Mr Leng who helped and brought him into this job.

Alumni like mi, have been going back less often since Mr leng left, also partially due to our own workload. What really make my day (08 April 09) is when Mr leng said "I'll be back so u alumni muz be united". When i told hui shan that nite, her response is juz like many of us - "i'm most willing and ready to get back when he's back". And yes, we're all ready and on stand-by juz waiting for u, Mr Leng. Quoting hui shan, " other den my parents, he's the person i respected most". It was him indeed,who help us found the passion in playing and creating music.

Other den dis, dis sem has also made mi think and reflect alot. Firstly, i'm not as independent as i've tot myself to be. It was until last nite that I've admitted dat i'm quite reliant on hui shan. that's partially y the feeling of a little lost and hurt as well as pissed when she placed greater importance on her bf.

This brings on another issue in trusting on others. Everyone has dis defensive wall in them which is used to protect themselves. Only certain ppl are allowed in this "no entry aka dangerous" area. This will thus reduce the risk of getting hurt by someone who means alot to u. but this will also means that whoever cares will ve to spend extra effort and patience so as to gain the entry to this zone as well..

Human has many faces and sides and most of the time, it is used to protect himself. But only to whom are u able to show ur true self to ? that i really wonder... especially when it concern ur heart..

I've always tot that human psychology is intriguing and have been wanting to study it in more depth. However, dis recent yrs have juz shown mi hw complicated it is.. Maybe it's not only complicated in nature but also complicated by mi.. Frenz like Huiling and huishan have been telling mi dat i tend to think too much.. sometimes, really ve to follow ur heart. only then u'll be really happy and even if u get hurt, u'll not regret ur decision.